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The Night Before Jynxmas (With AJ as the narrator)

Cpl.AJ

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Twas the night before Jynxmas and all through the barracks. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a big pink pig. The stockings were hung with little to no care ( hell, some guys didn't even bother to hang it) In hopes that saint John would soon be there (if you know what I mean)

The -[HELLO]- clan ™ members where nestled all snug in there bed (not bed'S... There budget in the clan sucks gum drops) Kenzie in her "Justin Bieber + Tedde = ultimate battle" shirt and I in my boxers. Had just settled our brains for a long (Giggity) winters night.

When out on the lawn arose such a clatter, I told Kenzie to go see what's the matter. Away to the window she flew like acash. Tore open the shutters (she was on her period, so I think "tore" is the appropriate way to describe how she opened the shutters) and threw up the shash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow (can't you just feel the Giggity in that sentence?) Gave the luster of mid day to the objects below. When what to Kenzie's wandering eyes but may appear. A miniature Lexus and 8 tiny kurk-deers.

With the little old driver so drunken and sick, Kenzie knew in a moment - it must be saint John. More rapid than Mikey's coursers they came he screamed and moaned out there names-

Now SK, now Soldier, Now, Freshblood, Now Alpha! On hippo, on Foxey, on top, on bottom! To the window to the wall - now giggle away giggle away giggle away all!

As dry the leaves that before the wild "kurkuhkane" fly with they meet an obstacle mount in the night sky (Mig's...) so up to the house top the kurk-deer they flew with the Lexus full of boys and saint John too.

And then on a twinkling Kenzie heard on the roof the prancing an pawing of each little... Toe (narrator shutters) As Kenzie drew in her head and was turning around, down the chimney came Saint John with a bound.

He was In all black from his head to his foot. And his ski mask was tarnished with ashes and soot. A bag full of boys hung from his back. "I've come for your children" He said sweating off his fat.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how- *AJ loses charecter* "I ain't gonna right The next 4 sentences... The original narrator must've been gay or something >_>...

*skips paragraph to next one*

The blade of the knife he held tightly In his teeth. A boy in his bag Then whispered "help me". He (Saint John) had a rape face and malnourished like belly that snapped when he laughed like a bowl full of phat cats (had to find a way to put cat into this story)

He was tall and skinny A right jolly old Crazy. And Kenzie laughed when she saw him in spite of herself! (just jokin ken z u know I luv u xD) a wink of his eye and a 360 twist of his head (excorcist reference) Kenzie knew she had nothing to dread (although she was aware of a possible child molester in her house)

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, grabbed the sleeping hello members and made a troll face like a jerk. And laying a finger aside of his nose and giving a nod And jumping out the window! (where his kurk-deer were waiting)

He sprinted across the yard and screamed "START THE CAR"! And as he left Kenie heard him exclaim - "MERRY JNYXMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A TROLL FILLED NIGHT!"

THE END

... :D
 

Lost

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hmmm i wonder who the molester is .......
 

Travco

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XD very funny. I'm surprised that you got everyone in there...


but, there's somebody you missed...
066ed.jpg
 

Cpl.AJ

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Travco said:
XD very funny. I'm surprised that you got everyone in there...


but, there's somebody you missed...
066ed.jpg

*reads disclaimer*

THE FOLLOWING IS OF PURE FICTION - ANY NAMES OR EVENTS ARE NOT OF PURE COUNCIDENCE IF PUT IN THIS STORY*
 

Travco

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Cpl.AJ said:
*reads disclaimer*

THE FOLLOWING IS OF PURE FICTION - ANY NAMES OR EVENTS ARE NOT OF PURE COUNCIDENCE IF PUT IN THIS STORY*

I see no such disclaimer you describe.
Code:
Twas the night before Jynxmas and all through the barracks. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a big pink pig. The stockings were hung with little to no care ( hell, some guys didn't even bother to hang it) In hopes that saint John would soon be there (if you know what I mean)

The -[HELLO]- clan ™  members where nestled all snug in there bed (not bed'S... There budget in the clan sucks gum drops) Kenzie in her "Justin Bieber + Tedde = ultimate battle" shirt and I in my boxers. Had just settled our brains for a long (Giggity) winters night.

When out on the lawn arose such a clatter, I told Kenzie to go see what's the matter. Away to the window she flew like acash. Tore open the shutters (she was on her period, so I think "tore" is the appropriate way to describe how she opened the shutters) and threw up the shash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow (can't you just feel the Giggity in that sentence?) Gave the luster of mid day to the objects below. When what to Kenzie's wandering eyes but may appear. A miniature Lexus and 8 tiny kurk-deers.

With the little old driver so drunken and sick, Kenzie knew in a moment - it must be said John. More rapid than Mikey's coursers they came he screamed and moaned out there names!

Now SK, now Soldier, Now, Freshblood, Now Alpha! On hippo, on Foxey, on top, on bottom! To the window to the wall - now giggle away giggle away giggle away all! 

As dry the leaves that before the wild "kurkuhkane" fly with they meet an obstacle mount in the night sky (Mig's...)  so up to the house top the kurk-deer they flew with  the Lexus full of boys and saint John too.

And then on a twinkling Kenzie heard on the roof the prancing an pawing of each little... Toe (narrator shutters) As Kenzie drew in her head and was turning around, down the chimney came Saint John with a bound.

He was In all black from his head to his foot. And his ski mask was tarnished with ashes and soot. A bag full of boys hung from his back. "I've come for your children" He said sweating off his fat.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how- *AJ loses charecter* "I ain't gonna right The next 4 sentences... The original narrator must've been gay or something >_>...

*skips paragraph to next one*

The blade of the knife he held tightly In his teeth. A boy in his bag Then whispered "help me". He (Saint John)  had a rape face and malnourished like belly that snapped when he laughed like a bowl full of phat cats (had to find a way to put cat into this story)

He was tall and skinny A right jolly old Crazy. And Kenzie laughed when she saw him in spite of herself!  (just jokin ken z u know I luv u xD) a wink of his eye and a 360 twist of his head (excorcist reference) Kenzie knew she had nothing to dread (although she was aware of a possible child molester in her house)

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, grabbed  the sleeping hello members and made a troll face like a jerk. And laying a finger aside of his nose  and giving a nod And jumping out the window! (where his kurk-deer were waiting)

He sprinted across the yard and screamed "START THE CAR"! And as he left Kenie heard him exclaim - "MERRY JNYXMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A TROLL FILLED NIGHT!"

THE END

... :D
 

Jynx

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My official review:

"The Night Before Jynxmas was a perfect combination of humor, mystery, and murder in one poetic masterpiece. 5 Stars." - MrJynxFTW
 

BigPinkPig

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wth too long story, i only saw HELLO word there its only i readed.
 
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